Ben and George Eat Toast
Ben and George are roommates occupying a small bungalow type house directly outside the main road in Falkville,
Alabama. As they were out for their daily walk around the neighborhood, on the side of the road, in a ditch was an
exquisite vase with ornate East-Indian characters engraved in gold. They were quite curious about it, so they walked
toward it to get a closer look. It shone with an antique luster that captivated both of them. What was a vase of such
beauty doing in such a small town like Falkville?
Ben picked up the vase, handling it with a piece of cloth from his pocket. The heaviness of the vase made him
speculate that it was worth a great deal of money. Turning around quickly to show George, the excitement almost made
him drop it. George examined it with a caring eye agreeing that it's probably worth a lot of money.
There's no antique dealer in Falkville. The closest one is in Madison which is a few miles north. George told Ben to
get in his truck and ride with him to Madison. George's truck is a 1948 Chevrolet. The kind with bubbly, flared out
fenders and a 350 engine. George rarely went fast enough to get its three speed transmission out of second gear, but
this time his excitement found him going into the fifty-sixty miles an hour range, making that third gear the one to use.
Once they arrived in Madison, the aroma from a local diner wafted into the truck via a small space Ben had opened in
his window to get fresh air. This reminded both of them that their stomachs needed tending, so off they went to the
diner to get some grub. Chicken Pot Pie and Dinner Rolls were the daily special and George ordered for the two of
them as Ben went to select a table.
As George ordered, Ben was recalling the vase. He left it under the front seat of George's truck, putting that piece of
cloth over it. It should be safe there until they leave.
The waitress that had been put in charge of their table was about 5'5". Her red hair went down to the middle of her
back, slightly curly and unruly in a country girl sort of way.
The two pot pies came piping hot from the oven to their table. They had the napkins and silverware at the ready.
The waitress was smiling as she put the plates in from of them. Her realization of their enthusiasm for the food brought
her much joy. They began eating, savoring each bite as if it was brought to them from the Gods. The waitress watched
them intently from the open window in the kitchen. In her mind she compared their actions to that of a wine connoisseur.
Every motion of their jaws were so smooth. The way the middle of the chin would always line up to the center part of the
nose on both of their faces. "Such Poetry", she thought.
After a while, she walked over to the table and asked them if they would care for some drinks or maybe a little
dessert. Ben and George loved Blueberry Pie, buy they were sort of anxious to find out about the vase, so they told the
waitress that they would come back later. She handed them their bill and George paid it, then he looked down at the
waitress's left breast to see her name tag, Rebecca. George said, "goodbye Rebecca." She looked at him and said,
"thank you." Ben looked at her and smiled. Her eyes sparkled.
When they walked back to the truck, George got in first. Ben looked at the side of the truck before he got in. He told
George that the vase wasn't even visible from the outside if someone tried to look in from his side. George smiled and
started the truck, heading off to first street. When they found the antique dealer, they parked right in front of the shop
and got out of the truck. Ben brought the vase for the dealer to look at. The dealer looked Ben and George sharply in
the eye and shook both their hands. Stan is my name gentlemen. Ben and George introduced themselves as Ben
uncovered the vase. Stan was flabbergasted! He had never seen such an exquisite thing in all his years as an antique
dealer. He was amazed as he examined the ornate gold figures etched into it. He quoted the price of one million dollars
for the vase. They were pretty happy about this, telling the dealer that they would take it. He wrote the check out to
George.
First things first, so they went back to the diner to have that piece of blueberry pie they were going to have. Rebecca
was still there waiting tables. They sat down once again in the same place they sat before and waited for Rebecca to
come over. The two of them were smiling quite a bit over their new found fortune. She noticed this uncontrollable
happiness exuding from the two of them. She began, "What happened to you two?" Ben blurted out, "we're looking to
make an investment!" George was somewhat shocked at his total lack of ability to keep things to himself.
Rebecca quickly said in a softer tone, leaning in closer, "I can help you maybe." This intrigued the two of them.
Wondering what she meant, they were looking into her eyes. She went on to say that she knows a man who is a really
big business man in the bread industry. Carl Von Yeast was his name and making bread was his game. "Where can we
find this Von Yeast?" She told them they would have to travel to California. She went on to say that he would be listed
in the San Francisco phone book. They rushed to the nearest library. It was in the same town just around the corner.
They located the correct phone book and started looking for Carl's phone number. When they found it, George wrote it
down on a piece of paper he had in his pocket. They walked to the nearest phone booth, inserted quarters and George
punched in the phone number.
As it got to the third ring, an older man picked up the phone and said, "Von Yeast here." Rebecca was right! "A
woman told me to call you about investing." George said. "What kind of investing?" "Well, I was thinking while eating
dinner that something was missing in my life. My dinner roll seemed to be the wrong shape or texture or something. It
needed a zippier, more brisk personality. This waitress mentioned to us that we should call you. We found a beautiful
gold vase yesterday. An antique dealer in Madison gave us a million dollars for it. Now that we have the check, we
thought we might try and conjure up some zippier dinner roll. I am thinking of a butterhorn as a basis for this dinner roll."
Von Yeast exclaimed, "People don't need butterhorns! They're too tall. The world needs simpler things. Please call me
Carl." What Carl was alluding to was toast, plain and simple toast.
Carl Von Yeast would like to somehow proliferate the bread consumption of the whole world through the means of
toast. George seemed to be under a spell, hypnotized by Carl's ideas. Ben was remembering that George likes a slice
of toast around seven in the evening. He frantically nudged George to try and remind him of this fact. George is still on
the phone with Carl when he suddenly remembered Rebecca. Mentioning her to him, he said, "Rebecca is my
daughter! I haven't seen her in quite a spell. Is she still married?" "We don't know that much sir." announced George.
"Well you say that she is a waitress right? She will be perfect to help us start secretly promoting our toast world
domination scheme." George states, "All we need is a factory to create dough, people to work for us, and a lot of mental
support from the local folk." Carl enjoyed his enthusiasm, but he knew they would need more than that. Carl had a few
tons of yeast that he inherited from an uncle named Kneed Von Yeast. The yeast is a wonderful place to start. Flour
and water are important too, salt, sugar, and some baking powder.
Carl Von Yeast plans to take over large portions of the world through his making of bread. "I need to get into contact
with my daughter Rebecca" Carl thought to himself. He will fly out to Madison to see her. Explain to her in more detail
the terms of his plan for global addiction.
Think of one government in charge of everything, dispensing bread to the world. At first some people might be into
eating taller pieces of bread such as butterhorns or croissants, but in order to have peace and common sense in our
society, we need to have balance in our bread. Toast is flat, peaceful, loving. Toast will promote the values and ethics
that we need in order for mankind to prosper.
Ben and George told Carl that they would be more than happy to take him to the diner Rebecca works at. Carl was
anxious as he thought of how he could get out to Madison. He got a phone book out to look up a local travel agent.
The agent answered the phone when he called. As they spoke, the agent was sorry to tell him that there was no airport
in Madison. The closest one was in Birmingham. Carl bought a plane ticket from the agent and was in the air by one o'
clock.
He spent the beginning of the flight thinking about his daughter Rebecca, but this came to a stop when he recalled his
reason for this trip. Toast and world domination! Carl was a large man. He was by no means fat, just big. He had
piercing brown eyes that sparkled in the correct light. He had a slightly balding head with hair which reminds a person of
a piece of carpet. His round face seemed to cry out "Joy to the World."
After he had been flying for approximately an hour and a half, the plane was over Arizona. The ground took on a
different look now. The texture changed. The colors are a more dramatic red shade. The shade of Rebecca's hair.
Looking down, Carl saw all the patches of shrubbery. The trees and even the rivers reminded him of the sweetness of
his daughter Rebecca.
In the mean time, Ben and George were sitting in the diner where Rebecca works. The name of the diner was, "The
Diner." She's about at the end of her shift. She slowly starts walking over to the two of them. George clears a place for
her to sit before she arrives. She then sits down by Ben, winking at him slightly before throwing her head into her hands
and yawning silently. George says, "well Rebecca your father is coming to meet with us in a couple hours. We told him
that you were here too. He's very excited to see you. Seems to think that you will be able to help us." "Help you?" She
states this with extreme curiosity.
Back in Rebecca's earlier years, when she was about ten or twelve, there was this little obsession she had. She grew
up on a farm with cows, roosters, chickens, you know all the farm inhabitants. She liked to give bread to the animals.
They would kindly take it too. Even if they didn't want it, they would politely take it and eat it. She had a way about her
to persuade creatures into doing things they might not normally do. She stood up and walked over to the dessert
section, put two pieces of blueberry pie onto plates and walked back over to her two new friends. "Thanks very much!"
Rebecca states, "My father is an interesting man. His life long obsession with toast has brought him much fame and
fortune." He will be here shortly. He should rent a car and drive to Madison. The three new friends were thinking that
maybe it would be a good idea to go to the airport in Birmingham to meet him. This would save him the trouble of having
to rent a car. They all rushed out to pile into George's truck.
George's truck needed some gas in order that they can complete the trip to Birmingham. Around the corner there's a
mom and pop gas station with a convenience store attached. George was headed that direction as he pulled off. As he
was turning into the driveway of the gas station, a small boy running toward the truck stopped them. He wanted to know
if they were going to eat the rest of their pie. Ben said, "No we're not, you can go ahead and finish it up if you want."
They pulled up to the proper gas pump and rolled the driver's side window down as the attendant was approaching.
"Fill er' up sir?" George told him to go ahead. The three of them waited for the attendant to finish filling the gas tank.
"That'll be $40 sir." George hands him two twenty dollar bills, they both nod to each other and George takes off.
Heading out on the main highway is the best bet now. George gets on the highway and after not too long is right in
third gear doing sixty-five. George has no radio, nor does he have a very good voice. Ben is trying to think of a way to
coax Rebecca into humming out a sweet melody or something. George on the other hand is comfortable in silence. He
likes to contemplate a lot.
As they crossed the Tennessee River, the time spent in silence George used to think of profits. Profits from bread. He
was still holding on to his butterhorn idea for all it was worth. He thought about the size of it. In theory, the larger the
piece of bread, the longer it would take to bake it. Now this might be a concern because it could slow down production a
bit, but all in all George liked butterhorns.
They're heading toward a small town called Warrior. It's about 40 miles south of Falkville. A little while and they should
be in Birmingham. George is in travel mode doing about 75-80. Ben sees a book he threw down on the floor by his leg.
It was from last time they took a small road trip. He picks it up and begins thumbing through it trying to remember where
he left off. The book was Charles Dicken's Great Expectations.
George is thinking about taking a break from contemplating and trying to start a conversation with Ben and Rebecca.
"Were you born in California Rebecca?" She looks at George and remarks, "No... No, I was not. I was born in
Maryland." Ben interrupts, "I had a donut in Maryland once." Rebecca states how she likes donuts, especially the ones
with cream filling. Ben is partial to multicolored sprinkles. "A round type of donut is nice" Ben comments. "Toast is
king!" shouted George, "We must not concern ourselves with donuts. The three of them understand the objective here.
George is right to not let them get too far off topic. Rebecca states, "Well George, one thing is for sure, my father is
going to like your way of thinking!"
Carl has probably flown through 60% of Texas by now. It looks as though Carl will arrive in Birmingham about the
same time as Ben, George and Rebecca. Rebecca has been trying to figure out what her father meant by saying that
she could help in the toast domination scheme. She thought back to her childhood when she would feed bread to the
farm animals. Somehow it must tie in to the scheme somehow.
Ben asks Rebecca to sing to him for a little while. She declines although flattered he would ask. "My voice is hoarse."
This is offered to Ben as an excuse because she really doesn't know any songs.
It looks as if just a straight shot to the Birmingham airport would be the best bet now. George steps on the gas. The
speed exhilarates Rebecca. It gives her the feeling of skiing down a steep hill or bitting into a York Peppermint Patty.
She remembers the last time she bit into a York, she was at a bus stop in Maryland. As she swallowed the bite of the
patty, she could feel the love course through her with the utmost satisfaction. She smiles, recalling that wonderful patty.
George notices the smile and thinks to himself: wait until this girl gets her hands on a really good piece of toast.
The three friends are almost in Birmingham. It looks as if they might get there a little before Carl. This is good
because they will get a chance to locate the proper gate and take a minute to sit down and relax.
Rebecca asks a question: "have you guys ever bitten into a York Peppermint Patty?" "Yes we have. We shared one
not too long ago. It was three days ago wasn't it George?" Ben has a penchant for fresh breath, but on the other hand
George does not. Actually, George's teeth are laden with cavities. People call him yuck mouth 'cause he don't brush!
Rebecca leans forward and puts her hands under her chin. She sighs flirtatiously then looks over at Ben. She smiles.
Their eyes connected like never before. Just as George was ready to turn into the airport parking lot. Rebecca
sensuously placed the fingers of her left hand over her mouth and softly kissed them. A subtle bend at the knuckles of
each of her fingers. The sound of her kissing her hand could be heard in the distance between Ben and her. She took
her hand away from her lips and directed the kiss toward Ben.
Rebecca noticed that Ben had a hard time expressing himself. Her idea on this is to get him to open up to her in an
intimate way, building trust, then help him rid himself of whatever is holding him back. The obstacle that Ben has isn't
hard to overcome, but it's very hard to put a finger on.
George is now looking for a place to park. There's one up by the front entrance that Ben is pointing to. George drives
over to the space he recommended for them. Ben looks at Rebecca with sincere eyes and says, "are you excited to see
your father?" "Yes, very much so. I just love his carpet like hair." "What do you mean?", George asks. "He wears a
toupee."
As the excitement surmounts, Rebecca fixes her hair and hops out. Once they all got out and fixed their clothes from
being all bunched up sitting in George's truck for so long, the trek to the information booth to find out where the proper
gate is began.
They found a huge board with all the proper gates on it. Gate thirty-six is the one they needed to be at in order to
meet Carl. George looked around and then stopped. He noticed that Ben and Rebecca were missing. He retraced his
steps. Soon as he found himself where he was three and a half minutes ago, he looked over to the right to see
Rebecca's hair. Her hair had a hand in it. The hand was positioned in a way that it couldn't be her own. To his
amazement, he found that Ben was the owner of that hand. He was kissing Rebecca in a very passionate embrace. All
thoughts of toast and world domination melted away. George suddenly realized that he had his priorities screwed up.
Ben opened his eyes after the kiss and looked over to George. George quickly looked the other way, pretending not to
notice Ben just a few feet away. Rebecca turned with a smile and said, "We should get down to gate thirty-six." They
started walking briskly. The gate numbers grew larger and larger. Ten, Fifteen, Twenty, Twenty-five, Thirty. They kept
up their brisk pace all the way to Thirty-six.
The people that were on the plane were just starting to get off. The three friends got there just in time. Rebecca
noticed a man who looked like her father. She pointed to him. He looked over at her and smiled. They began running
toward each other. Rebecca had a grin permanently fixed on her face. She motioned for Ben to hurry up and come
meet Carl. George kept up a similar pace, although he was about ten yards behind.
As soon as they found themselves face to face, hand shakes and hugs began. Rebecca says, "Daddy, I would like you
to meet Ben, and the man walking behind us is his roommate George." Carl and Ben both look at George as he walks
to where they are standing. Rebecca holds onto Ben like a teddy bear. Carl feels that something is going on that is far
deeper than toast could ever be. Ben's happiness. Rebecca's happiness. All of this is so big that is must suffice to the
ending to this little story.
Toast or no toast, a man is only fulfilled when he finds someone to share his time with. As for the money, they can buy
a house big enough for the four of them to live in. They could buy a toaster oven for each of them. The Von Yeast
legacy will be carried on. Global domination was overpowered by love, but there's always room for toast. The four of
them started to walk toward the exit with their arms around each other.
George would like to get to a bank and deposit the check into his account. A branch of his bank is not too far away.
Carl suggested he would buy a toaster for each of them at Walmart. George has an engraving tool at home. He will
have to engrave their names in their new toasters when they get home. This has been a humdinger of an adventure!
See ya'll Later!!!!